Pray first

Read Genesis 3:14-19

Parenting isn’t easy. Can I get an Amen? My husband and I had been married for about two years when God thought it would be a good idea to give us a child. And eventually, there were three. We love our kids to pieces, and we’re pretty decent parents, but we ain’t perfect! Just ask our kids. After having these bundles of joy, we took it upon ourselves to be good little Christian parents and try to raise these three in the way they should go, like Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) says. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” That was our goal: get all the Jesus and discipline in them while they’re young and they’ll be protected from the evils of this world. 

We started them in church at their earliest ages, including Sunday School and children’s or youth activities. There was family time, sports, and travel. At home, training them up often focused on giving them instructions for a task or behavior, allowing time for our child to complete the task or change the behavior, along with some reminders of what they were supposed to be doing. Then if they disobeyed, consequences were allotted. While it’s true there are consequences for bad behavior and disobedience, we probably were a little too quick to dole out the punishment without first seeking God. I have to admit, we may have too often left out one of the best parts of Jesus, grace. Our poor first child, and really all firstborn children!

We really were trying to do what was right, but we’re messed up too. We sought God in some way, but not really enough. Because we concerned ourselves with consequences our oldest spent a lot of her days grounded. And I don’t mean “firmly rooted.” I mean stuck in her room. Except for that one time when I grounded her from her room. She lost the privilege because she didn’t clean it up like she was told. That night she slept on the floor outside her room in a sleeping bag. Right or wrong, it was a method! Consequences, right? 

Adam and Eve soon discovered that they would suffer consequences for their sin. Earlier in Genesis 3, we learned about Adam and Eve’s choice to go their own way instead of God’s. They disobeyed, they sinned. While God did seek them out and offer them grace, redemption, and restoration of their relationship with Him, there were still consequences. For Eve (woman) there was and always will be pain in childbirth. For Adam (man) he would have to toil and sweat to put food on the table and provide for his family.

And then God banished them from the perfect Garden of Eden. While that may seem a little harsh, there was a real problem with leaving them in the garden. God said in Genesis 3:22, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” If they ate from the tree of life, they would live forever in the misery of their sin and the imminent corruption of the world caused by sin. Just my own thought here, but I think it would be pretty miserable knowing I was the first person to sin and got that ball rolling on earth for all of mankind. Kicking them out of the garden so that they would not eat of the tree of life and live forever may really have been quite merciful.

Although there were consequences for their sin, they still found God’s mercy and grace. Mercy, that’s when we don’t get all that we actually deserve for our offenses. Grace is when we get gifts of favor that we don’t deserve. “But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Psalm 86:15 ESV).

God was still present with Adam and Eve. He was still their creator and redeemer. He still demonstrated his love and mercy to them. Consequences don’t mean we are separated from God. Once we put our trust in God, once we decide to follow Him, no one can separate us from His love. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom 8:38-39).  

Because sin found its way to Adam and Eve, and all of us, we live in a fallen world and we suffer many kinds of consequences. We may suffer from illnesses, accidents, theft, drug abuse, anger, depression, on and on the list goes. When we suffer, it may or may not be a direct result of a sin we committed. It may simply be a result of the general sinfulness of all of humanity since the beginning of time.  That’s what we mean by a fallen world.

And because we live in this fallen world, that’s all the more reason to draw near to God. We need Him. We need his mercy, grace and love, the things we don’t deserve. The Lord says, in Psalm 91:14-15, “Because he loves me…I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” Life with Him is so much better than life on our own without Him. 

Drawing near to God and to my children, offering them mercy and grace, and reminding them of the love I will always have for them, that’s what I wish I would have done better when my kids messed up. Yes, still consequences when necessary, but certainly more grace.  

Drawing near to our neighbors, loving others who don’t love us, offering mercy to those who wrong us, or extending kindness and grace to those who disagree with us–that’s something I wish we could all do better. 

 

Worship: This is Amazing Grace by Phil Wickham

 

Find Tracy on Facebook at Tracy Fields Todd, Writer, and on Instagram at @tracyftodd.