Pray First.
Read Genesis 31:3 and 33:1-4.
When we vacationed in Yellowstone National Park, which I highly recommend, we saw many warnings not to approach the animals. This was especially true of momma bears with her cubs. Those mommas would have no mercy when protecting their little ones.
As a mom myself, I understand that instinct. Don’t mess with my babies! But I also realized that as the mom of our family, I would fight for my family to keep the peace with one another. That’s why it’s so shocking to see the events of Jacob and Esau’s early life at home. Parents favoring one child over the other. A mom instigating deceit so her favorite could rule over the other. It was God’s plan that Jacob would one day rule over his older brother (Genesis 25:23), but God didn’t need Rebekah or Jacob to sin in order to accomplish His plan, but they did. And so the brothers became estranged. I don’t know about you, but this breaks my momma heart.
When God told Jacob to return to his homeland and to his kindred, he knew what that meant: facing Esau. He remembered how he had deceived his brother and how his brother hated him for it. Esau even vowed to kill Jacob. Jacob was obedient to God’s calling, but not without fear.
Obviously Jacob feared that Esau would make good on his promise; he feared he was walking into his own demise. When he saw Esau approaching him along with 400 of his men, he couldn’t know Esau’s intent, yet he obediently continued on the path home. How was Jacob able to trust God with his life and his relationship with Esau? Remember, on this journey home, Jacob had been conquered by God in a wrestling match, and Jacob had a change of character, submitting his ways to God’s ways. He knew he could trust God with his future, with every step. So he pressed onward, leading his entire clan to Esau.
It is a remarkable and touching reconciliation. Jacob bowed low as he approached Esau, indicating his humility, no longer wanting to rule over Esau, no longer wanting to be greater. “Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept” (Gen 33:4). What a reunion! Not only had God worked on Jacob’s heart and changed him, but he also had obviously worked in the heart of Esau, giving him a heart of forgiveness and love for his brother.
What made this reunion of estranged brothers possible? First, they had both submitted to God, allowing Him to change their hearts toward one another. Second, one of them had to initiate the reunion and believe it could be possible because “with God all things are possible” (Matt 19:26 ESV). And last, they had to trust God with the outcome without knowing how it would turn out.
Is there someone you have been at odds with for a long time? Is there a friend or family member who hurt you, or that you hurt, and you’ve been estranged since then? God longs for us to love one another, and it grieves him when we choose hate over love. It grieves him when we have something against one another. He would rather we make things right with one another before we even give him our offering, our sacrifice of worship and praise. “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God” (Matt 5:23-24 NLT).
It can be difficult to initiate reconciliation in a broken relationship. But we can start with prayer, seeking God’s guidance in our situation. Luke 6:28 declares, “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you” (NLT). We can’t find humility, submission, and forgiveness without Him. Like Jacob and Esau, we need God to do a work in each of our hearts. And then, if we get the courage to pursue reconciliation, we may discover a glorious reunion with our loved one, just like these brothers experienced.
Sometimes that broken relationship is a relationship with God. Unfortunately, we live in a world where bad things happen and where people, even those who we think are supposed to be good, fail us. The enemy, Satan, wants no one to know God, and tempts all of us to sin, including people in church, including Christians. When someone hurts us, it’s not God’s fault. The momma bear who wants to protect her cubs has no control over the predator’s choice to attack. Likewise, people have their own choices, to choose God’s ways or to choose sin. And we all fail at that sometimes.
If you’ve distanced yourself from God because someone failed you in church, or because something bad happened to someone you love, I’m so sorry that happened. But I hope you won’t let the bad choices of others keep you from a relationship with the God who loves you, created you for a purpose, and wants you to spend eternity with him.
Your loved one who has something against you may or may not receive your attempt at reconciliation; all you can do is your part. But God, he will always receive you back in his open, loving arms.
Worship: Losing by Tenth Avenue North
Find Tracy on Facebook at Tracy Fields Todd, Writer, and on Instagram at @tracyftodd.
